Special Thanks to Quesx, whose idea has brought you this page......so, that means if you don't like it you can yell at her. :)
-Never pet a flaming dog
-Never piss on an electric fence
-Never buy a fur coat from a man who's running from a naked bear
-Always wear clean underwear
-Don't believe everything you're told, including what you have just been told....err, no wait.....
-Don't underestimate the power of cheese
-Don't eat yellow snow
-Always remember to take all the tags and stickers off your new clothes _before_ you go out to show them off
-Never set your own hair on fire, or anyone elses for that matter, I can't stress this one enough
-When in jail, never pick up the soap
-Don't spit into the wind
-When in doubt, eep and run away in a suspicious manner
-Never call a cop lucifer, this seems to make then slightly angered
-No, that thing in the back of the fidge isn't pea soup, in fact, no knows what it is, nor do they want to.
-Strangers offer the best candy
-The sun is hot and the ice is slippery
-If you don't know what it is, don't eat it
-And no, no one wants to look you toe lint
-As interesting as the thing that just came out of your nose is, people would appreciate you keeping it to yourself
-Never pull the rope with the sign that says 'Don't pull this rope
-Never sit in wet paint
-Never put frogs in the blender
-Don't put hamsters in the microwave unless you plan on cleaning it up
-Refrain from becoming the next chainsaw killer
-Don't play chicken with anyone crazier then you
-Always wear pants when cycling.
-Never mix up a nose hair plucker with a toothbrush.
-If if hurt to do this, then don't do it.
-Never smile or always smile, else people can tell when you're thinking about sex.
-Never make fun of a golfers clothes. (After all they spend their weekends praticing swinging clubs!)
-If you want to get someone to leave you alone, tell them you are trying to mentally undress them and ask them to stand a certain way.
-If they stay after you tell them that, maybe you don't want them to go away after all.....
-When sitting on a bus with someone, sit with the weirdest person, that way, less attention will be attracted by you.
-Much defies explanation, pay attention to what is done, not said.
-Never take advice from some crazy chick on the internet
-That of course means you have to ingore the last bit of advice which would lead you into a confusing paradox which is giving me a headache just thing about....